I CAN’t hear you over your gum chewing

You know, every office has that one person who’s less of a coworker and more of a professional speed bump. Enter Jafar, who seems to have made it their life’s mission to put up roadblocks just so they can feel like a big shot. It’s like they wake up every morning thinking, “How can I make today more difficult for everyone else?” And don’t even get me started on the gum-chewing. They sit there in meetings, chomping away with the gum practically hanging out of their mouth, like they’re vying for the title of the least professional person in the room. It’s absolutely nauseating. And then there’s their favorite pastime: talking. Not just any talking, but endless, self-indulgent monologues about absolutely nothing to try to make themselves feel important. It’s like they love the sound of their own voice so much, they’ve forgotten that the rest of us are stuck listening to it. It’s gotten to the point where just seeing them approach feels like a warning that my day is about to take a turn for the worse.